Sunday, June 7, 2009

Not counting my chickens

So. It's not a secret that I don't always exactly love my job. But I do consider it a vast improvement over what I did last year. When preference sheet time rolled around, I dutifully dusted off my resume and worked up a letter of intent (because for some reason even AIS teachers have to re-apply for AIS) for an AIS position. In second grade. (There's no place for listing grade preferences for AIS, but I sneakily mentioned in my cover letter that I looked forward to being part of the second grade team again next year.)

On Friday, one of my second grade colleagues, a lovely and dynamic teacher whom I consider a friend, was called into the principal's office and told that she'd be taking the second grade AIS position next year.

I? Was told nothing.

Needless to say, I have spent the entire weekend freaking out. What does it mean? Am I going to first grade AIS? Am I going into a classroom? Why would administration make us apply for AIS positions when they just end up giving them to whoever they want anyway? (My colleague, who I am, don't get me wrong, happy for, and who I believe will do a great job in the position, nevertheless did not actually put in for AIS.) Why would they tell her that she was taking my job without telling me what I would be doing?

Then I started getting paranoid: Does my principal know I sent out a few resumes through the open market transfer system? Does she know I say unpleasant things about our school on my blog? Am I being punished?

At this point, best case scenario, I go down to first grade AIS (because the first grade AIS teacher would like to go into a classroom). But here's what I don't understand: Not to brag about my general fabulousness or anything, but this year, I have gotten pretty much nothing but compliments from administration. In my last post-observation conference, my AP told me I was "flawless." So if I'm good at my job, and they like the way I'm doing my job, and I ask for the same job again next year...why wouldn't I get that job? Why would they give it away to someone who didn't even request it?

Aaaaarrrghhhh. Rumor has it that our reorganization sheet is being released on Tuesday; I'm hoping I'll find out something before I get the paper in my mailbox and potentially start, like, crying in front of the entire office when I see my name next to a fifth grade class or something. But in the meantime, the waiting is exhausting.


Anonymous said...

Sorry, whenever I start to think bad thoughts about my job, I stop and read your blog. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel good. Again sorry.

One of your concerns is why we have to be careful what we write on our blogs. Yes, it is sometimes a good way to vent. And to me, a relatively harmless way to do so. Never-the-less, I take GREAT pains to be as anonymous on my blog as possible. I don't want it coming back to bite me.

It's possible that they just aren't aware of how stressful it is on us. I filled out the same request kind of form a few weeks ago at my school. End result? Apparently she didn't read them or choose to act on them. Faced with a 20% increase (from around 28 to as many as 35 in our kindergarten)in class size next year due to budget cuts, I requested a move to first grade. Apparently two other teachers WENT to her and asked instead of relying on the request forms. She allowed them to move up. I do get to change to a better calendar rotation slot, and I am the only kindergarten teacher getting a Smartboard next year. But it's still over 30 kids. First grade has reduced class size. I just think if they put a procedure in place they ought to follow it....
Good luck with yours, hope things work out.

mcaitlin said...

good luck, i'm sending happy job thoughts your way

Anonymous said...

why are you thinking the worst? perhaps the admin wants you to take the 1st grade position because they want the younger students to have a strong teacher so they are well set for the future. perhaps they are putting the 1st grade AIS teacher in a classroom and replacing her with your colleague that took your position.