Monday, February 4, 2008

Guess who has bronchitis?

I'll give you a hint: It's not Joel Klein!

The bronchitis doesn't excuse it, but it might help explain the fact that I was so mean today. Or maybe it was the weather, or the Monday blues, or the February doldrums. But today...I've had it. I'm fed up with cryptic memos instructing me to do things I don't understand and I'm fed up with being totally left out of the loop on memos that concern my program. I'm fed up with being locked out of my own office during state testing, and with professional development sessions that eat into my lunch time and prep time and instructional time, even though I never get any professional development myself, and I'm fed up with living in fear of being Observed. I'm fed up with rude and obnoxious kids and kids who go crazy when a girl's nose bleeds all over her white shirt and then all over the floor and kids who feel they have to re-enact for me that morning's projectile vomiting incident and kids who can't stop getting on each other's nerves, which consequently gets on my nerves. I'm fed up with having no friends at my school, not to mention a mentor.

I was never this mean to kids until I started teaching. Which means that most of all, I'm fed up with myself. This is not the teacher I wanted to be.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Ugh. I know exactly how you feel, unfortunately. I went into teaching because I love kids (and learning), but teaching stole the joy of being with kids away from me. It wasn't until I left (temporarily) it that I could really enjoy them again.